Learn to talk like a boss
In his book, Bruce Tulgan addresses the key problem of modern managers – the epidemic of “non-management” – and offers concrete steps to help you become a strong manager who: clearly voices his expectations to employees, regularly receives and analyzes feedback, corrects mistakes of subordinates in time, and even faster rewards them for success.
Do you spend a lot of time talking with employees? You discuss hundreds of topics: “How was your weekend?” Did your son’s birthday go well? Have you seen this TV show? ” Perhaps you want to talk with employees about their personal affairs in order to build closer ties with them. However, this approach interferes with management relationships. When a discussion begins to concern working issues, you cannot always take full advantage of your power. If you have a difficult assignment, you sometimes have to put pressure on an employee. And in such a situation, you suddenly change your tone and begin to talk seriously, hastily, and sometimes too emotionally with him about work. And at this moment, the employee may well say something like: “Hey, but I thought we were friends ?!” And you can forget about the previous understanding.
I call it Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. If you build relationships with employees, communicating with the personal, as close friends, then in situations when the conversation becomes serious, and this always happens, sooner or later, you have to take on a completely different role. You turn from Mr. Best Friend into Mr. Chief the Fool and remain in this role until the problem disappears and you get a chance to return to the role of Mr. Friend again. Only now Mr. Friend is already starting to seem fake, and Mr. boss will have to fight for their rights.
Talk about work
If you want to be Mr. Friend for your employees, you can have a beer with them in the evening. However, at work you must be the boss. Your role is to maintain a general focus on work and help everyone show the best results every day. The good news is that the best way to build mutual understanding with your employees is to really talk to them about work. This is what you have in common. In fact, the reason lies in the work of why you have any relationship at all. When you make contact, talking about joint activities, you reduce the likelihood of conflict and at the same time create relationships that will survive the conflict if it occurs. Therefore, talk about the work that has already been done, and about what remains to be done. Talk about how to avoid mistakes, find workarounds and make sure that all resources are available in sufficient volume, talk about goals, deadlines, standards and specifications, talk about work. And everything will be much better.
How do the most effective mentor managers talk?
Many managers tell me: “I am not a born leader of I …” (you can enter the missing yourself, for example, an accountant, engineer, doctor and so on). They declare: “I don’t really like the management process. It involves too many difficult conversations. ” In fact, these managers make it clear that they do not know how to effectively talk with employees about work.
Only a few have a special type of charisma, infectious passion and enthusiasm that inspire and motivate people. What about everyone else? You may not be able to develop charisma, but you can very well learn to talk about work directly and effectively. You can learn to say the right words to your employees at the right time and in the right way.
The most effective managers use a special method of communication. They take special poses, behavior and tone. They can be both imperious and responsive, demanding and supportive, disciplined and patient. This is not the style of Mr. Friend or Mr. Chief, but rather something in between. This particular way of communicating is much like mentoring to increase productivity.
“I’ve never been a particularly good mentor,” managers sometimes tell me, “so I don’t know what it looks like.” Well, I can describe a mentor speaking in a steady and insistent voice. He behaves in a methodical and involved manner. He is full of enthusiasm and assertiveness. His behavior is constantly aimed at stimulating concentration and responsibility.
Try to remember the best boss, teacher, counselor, or spiritual mentor you have met in life. Try to hear the sound and tone of his voice, remember the examples of his honesty and openness. Ponder the influence he has had on you.
When I think of mentoring, I immediately remember Frank Gorman – the greatest of the teachers whom I knew and from whom I studied. All the years that we knew each other, Frank was focused on the only thing – karate. He was lucky to have a special charisma, passion and enthusiasm that characterize strong leaders.